What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard pretending to be asleep?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why are most people broke?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What do you think about a sister's love?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What are some common lies that addicts may tell themselves?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What type of fish is best for fish tacos?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Citi Calls Time on Gold’s Rally Due to Slumping Demand, Fed Cuts - Bloomberg.com

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Trump is at a moment of choosing as Israel looks for more US help crushing Iran's nuclear program - AP News

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

How to Cut Your Biological Age by Up to 16 Years: Make This Tweak to Your Daily Walk - Inc.com

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

How do I stop having work crushes because I only keep getting disappointed almost every day as I keep seeing they don’t like me back and won’t ever ask me out?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Can relationship issues cause depression?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!